Happy Saturday

I drank some wine and decided to roll out to the lake. Chelsea and Donaldo told me I had to take my cell phone to make sure I could call for help if needed. Wow. I stumbled to the lakeside - and by the time I got there I had to pee something fierce. So I bend over by a tree - and almost fucking freak out to discover a jogger coming up on the right quick. My reaction - to fall down - is a good one. I end up freaking dude out more than needed, but at least I'm cool. Jogger passes and I pee on the tree. And then I stroll a little more and discover a sweet spot by the lake. Nice view of the reflections of cars driving by and the fountains. I lay down and ponder things. It's tempting to simply close my eyes and spend the night here with the smell of fresh grass and the sound of trickling water. So I spend about 20 minutes wishing I could be bohemian enough to just succumb and pass out in the grass. And I always catch myself in that near-comatose state. I turn my head all the way to the left and see a profile of green and white reflection. And I wish it could never end. I turn to the right and see more green - and I feel the itch of the grass on my back. My heart prays for another jogger to interrupt my thoughts. I eventually make it from lying, cushioned to standing, swerving. And I begin the long walk home. I want to stay and sing to the darkness. I want to scream that this is only the beginning. But I return to my house alone. I return to the end of time - alone. Listening to Lucero - and alone. As it should be.

river styx

And now it seems silly that I held your eyes in such high regard.
I step from the car
after leaving a...goodbye...laced with fabricated hope.
I should have said "don't be a stranger",
I should have kissed you.
And I drive out of town trailing the ghost of you - of this place - behind me.
The exodus is reversed this time.
It is the same drive, only backwards.
Because I see the gauze behind those eyes that drowns and traps and sinks.
I see the dancing, as before, but now also
the bullets that snap like firecrackers around your feet.
I've been too many places to be dragged back under.
I drive, and in so doing, rise.
Rise like a phoenix from the ashes towards a horizon not strapped to sand.
Drive away from nights lost in the bottom of a glass,
and slow mornings spent with the waves and wool.