Decompression

It's not often that the beginning of the year is also simultaneous to a major life transition for me. I usually consider the Holidays enough static around this time - but the build up to 2008 should have been a sign that something was up.

You know when something is tightening up inside - softly at first - and then gradually the tension increases so slowly that you don't notice? It was getting to the point where I was noticing. And drinking to make it go away. You always just think it's stress and not something telling you it's time for a change.

I resigned from the j-o-b this week. And have been explaining it to everyone since then. It's funny how I have ended up handling other people's reactions to me quitting more than I have my own this week. I needed a quiet weekend to decompress and think about shit.

I don't really have a plan. I don't really have an exit date. I don't really know if I'm going back to school or finding another job. I don't really know if I even want to leave Current. I just know that I feel better having resigned. I think it was time. The job was turning into something that I didn't want to be. I do wish I could stay, but I don't think that it's a wise decision to do so. I think I'm letting my feelings for my friends at work get in the way of that. I won't miss the work - I'll miss the people I worked closely with. I'll miss making sure their jobs are easier. I'll miss after-work drinks. And while those are very awesome things - they aren't things that should keep me at a position that I don't enjoy and that has no upward mobility to where I'd like to be.

Sigh.

At the end of the day, I think Current has taught me all I can gain from it. I think I've reached the ceiling there. I'm learning nothing new - just rehashing the same horrible problems with different solutions. Sisyphus worked at Current.

So now I just need to figure out a game plan....