I call horseshit.

So I've decided to give myself an attitude adjustment. I think I need to grow up. Seriously.

I'll blame the fact that I'm a Taurus to my stubborn commitment to debauchery. Don't get me wrong - I still think hyperbole is the best way to party. But let me attempt to explain this idea via analogous sports cliche - if before I was the cheerleader for debauchery, now I'm more like assistant coach. I'd like to figure out the best way to use debauchery effectively but I also want to make sure the other guys get to play equal amounts of court time. You know, like productivity and moderation. They're sleepers.

I think it's more admirable to taper down than to come to a screeching halt anyway - so this works perfectly for me.

I've also become addicted to the idea that I'm settling down with myself. I think people spend too much time wondering who they will settle down with and not enough energy on the now. I'd like to offer a solution to this phenomenon. If we all put in as much commitment to ourselves and our own lives as we do to our potential or current mates, we would then all live much more functionally as couples. And we would be happier being single. Which, come to think of it, is why relationships would be healthier - chicken, egg...eh.

Solitude is nice. I'm going to rock it for a while. Not in quantity, but quality.

Yeah, I'm being a lame ass introspective freak right now. So what?

Perspective

It's been a while. I'm going through some shit - give me a break.

So I've decided I can only obsess about my job for so long before I realize that nothing I ever do is going to change the fact that, at the end of the day, I still have to come home to the same old shit. Doesn't it seem like your job defines you in a way that ultimately ends up controlling you?

Mistake #1: Not taking a break in between jobs.
Mistake #2: Waiting so long before I quit a job I hated that I didn't properly prepare myself for entering into a new position in an entirely different type of company.
Mistake #3: Ever giving a shit about a job.

I kind of want to just concede the point. I give up. I was right all along - working kills your soul. Yeah! I totally called that, like 5 years ago! My worst fears have been realized! - Oh, wait...that still means I lose. Even worse - I knew about it a while ago and still let it happen. I think that means I'm basically retarded.

It's cool - it's nicer to be like, "corporate jobs suck" when you have a savings account populated by one than broke, from the back of the house at Denny's. There really isn't that much difference in the work, either. Which brings me to my point - it doesn't matter what I do. Sure, there's the pride in completing work you find meaningful. But at the end of the day, I'm doing it because I get paid to. And for someone who seeks out non-corporate employers, I have to deal with an awful lot of red fucking tape.

Whatever. I just need to file my taxes before April 15th. The older I get, the faster it arrives.

And by old, I mean being a work-a-holic.