I'm back - I think.
Oh, blog, it's been so long. And if I have any foreshadowing into my immediate future, I think I'll be back more frequently than I have been in the last few months.
I admit, I was pretty much comatose from working a shitty job and pretending it didn't bother me. It might have even been the "I can totally rock a douchey marketing job and schmooze with asshole fuckwads all day" that sapped the remains of my inspiration.
Ugh.
I'm back. It was a bad time. And as stressed as I am about not having an income or health insurance for the indeterminate future, I've never felt as alive as I do now.
Right now? Everything I do in a day is for me. I place tasks on a list of priorities and they are all about my own personal development. Modest Mouse never hit it so cleanly as when they sang, in cracking vibratto, "Gotta go to work, gotta go to work, gotta have a job."
I think I was designed to not work. I hate to sound bourgeoisie, but I have the means and education to rock being unemployed and artsy for a year. So fuck going to the same bullshit job everyday and holding meetings where you are too involved in some petty office procedural dispute everyday. Yes, it's nice that there is order there. Yes, it's interesting to think about how things work within a group of disparate individuals all cooped up in a jungle of grey walls all day. Yes, benefits and a steady paycheck are nice. Too nice, holmes.
I spent too much time working for companies that could give a shit about my personal growth, and I'm done being underpaid and overfed with those jobs. I feel like the corporate life covers your entire world in the kind of clear scum you would find on an alien corpse. The kind of film that, upon any brief contact, sticks to your fingers and casts an oozey web of clear scum between your outstreached digits. Gross. And hard to toss off.
Imagine years of that film being all over you and then suddenly it's gone. The kind of ease of movement you are suddenly able to perform. It's amazing, and I hope it lasts for a while.
I just read the most amazing poem, and also had a very intense conversation with a close friend, and then contemplated the ways in which our lives are transacted over the internet. It's been a long day.
I admit, I was pretty much comatose from working a shitty job and pretending it didn't bother me. It might have even been the "I can totally rock a douchey marketing job and schmooze with asshole fuckwads all day" that sapped the remains of my inspiration.
Ugh.
I'm back. It was a bad time. And as stressed as I am about not having an income or health insurance for the indeterminate future, I've never felt as alive as I do now.
Right now? Everything I do in a day is for me. I place tasks on a list of priorities and they are all about my own personal development. Modest Mouse never hit it so cleanly as when they sang, in cracking vibratto, "Gotta go to work, gotta go to work, gotta have a job."
I think I was designed to not work. I hate to sound bourgeoisie, but I have the means and education to rock being unemployed and artsy for a year. So fuck going to the same bullshit job everyday and holding meetings where you are too involved in some petty office procedural dispute everyday. Yes, it's nice that there is order there. Yes, it's interesting to think about how things work within a group of disparate individuals all cooped up in a jungle of grey walls all day. Yes, benefits and a steady paycheck are nice. Too nice, holmes.
I spent too much time working for companies that could give a shit about my personal growth, and I'm done being underpaid and overfed with those jobs. I feel like the corporate life covers your entire world in the kind of clear scum you would find on an alien corpse. The kind of film that, upon any brief contact, sticks to your fingers and casts an oozey web of clear scum between your outstreached digits. Gross. And hard to toss off.
Imagine years of that film being all over you and then suddenly it's gone. The kind of ease of movement you are suddenly able to perform. It's amazing, and I hope it lasts for a while.
I just read the most amazing poem, and also had a very intense conversation with a close friend, and then contemplated the ways in which our lives are transacted over the internet. It's been a long day.
posted by Black Sheep Girl at 9:57 PM
1 Comments:
You are my hero, Brie.
<3<3<3
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